As I Lay Dying
by stephenherondale
Summary: Stephen is dying, laying in a battlefield a war going around him. He remembers the memories that led him to the life was living only hours before his tragic death. Rated M for later Chapters - Ps. i hate writing the summary, just read.


Hey everyone. This is my newest story, based on Stephen Herondale and his life and death. I love this character, I liked him before much was even mentioned about him xD, So don't hate me for my outlook on him, because I was probably the first person to actually like this character . I began roleplaying him like a year and a half ago. But anyways, I hope you enjoy this story. I don't own the characters or the books.

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><p><strong><em>Death - November <em>**

_I never once thought death would be this painful. I had always been made to believe that death would come fast, but when my own dagger pierced my lung, I had wished that I had been pierced through the heart instead. I had always believed that I would die an old man though, asleep in my bed next to my wife, but never at the age of twenty._

_As a shadow hunter, I probably should have expected this fate. I would never grow an old man, I would die fighting with my fellow members of the group I had fallen prey too._

_I hadn't taken much thought when I let myself be roped in. I was younger then, dumb as my mother had hissed at me. In the end she had dealt with it, because she had already lost her husband and hadn't wanted to lose her only son too._

_It was these thoughts that kept me alive; I was wishing that someone would save me. I didn't want to die like this. I didn't want to die at all. I wanted to live; I wanted to see my child be born._

_I wouldn't even be considered a hero; I would be considered a foolish child who thought he could take on the clave, oh how foolish I now realized I was._

_I closed my eyes, taking in a small breath that caused me to cry out in pain. I could see the memories of my life begin to flood in my mind and I let them overcome me…_

_**1991 – December 31**__**st**__**; New Year's Eve**_

"How do I look?" Stephen Herondale spoke, his sinewy figure poised in front of the full body mirror that was placed in the bedroom he shared with his wife, Amatis.

"You look dashing as always, Stephen." Her quiet voice spoke, she was in her sleep gown, ready for bed, even though Stephen was in a tuxedo. "Your bow tie is a bit crooked though."

He turned back to the mirror quickly, shooting her a look after he noticed she was only kidding.

"Don't do that, I have to look presentable. This is my first Circle party."

She rolled her dark eyes at him and sat herself cross-legged on their bed.

He could see the tinge of sadness in her eyes as he glanced at her in the mirror. "I'm sorry you can't attend with me." He spoke, his voice set in an apologetic tone.

She brushed him off, her shoulders shrugging. "I understand that they don't want me invited. I'm not trustworthy yet."

He bit the inside of his cheek and looked away. That isn't the reason, he thought to himself. It was because everyone knew how Amatis felt about the Circle, she didn't like it and she wasn't entirely thrilled that her husband was now a part of it.

They had only been married four months ago and just a month ago Stephen told her what he planned on doing. It hadn't been a merry day at their household to say the least.

"I have to go." He spoke quietly, crossing to her to give her a soft kiss on her forehead. "I'll be home in the morning."

The ride was chilling. The snow fell quickly around him and his horse, sticking to himself and the horses long white mane. "Almost there…" He spoke aloud to no one. The horse snorted in reply and he gave it a pat between the ears.

It was only seconds after his statement that the Fairchild manor came into view, the music was already swirling toward him with the snowflakes. The house was lit up beautifully and he had to tear his eyes away to find the stables.

After letting his horse in with the others he crossed the snow ridden yard and headed inside, shaking the snow from his body before handing over his coat.

"Stephen! Welcome brother." Valentine's voice boomed from in front of him. Stephen looked up to meet the familiar eyes and then he was being wrapped in a warm embrace. Stephen hugged Valentine back, stepping back when he was released, straightening his jacket.

"Come meet everyone."

Halfway through the party Stephen knew almost everyone's names. He had met people he had already known from academy and then he had met those he had heard of but never thought he would have the pleasure of doing so.

He had to get some air though and around 10:30 he stepped onto the balcony. He shrugged his jacket off; he was burning up and slung it over his shoulder as he rolled his sleeves up over his forearms.

Brushing the snow from the railing he leaned on it and looked over the yard. It was twinkling just like the millions of stars in the sky.

He sighed, watching his breath meet the cold air and closed his eyes for a moment.

He felt so alone for being around so many people. He just wanted someone to hold at the moment, someone to kiss at midnight.

But Amatis wasn't there, so he wouldn't be kissing anyone tonight…

Turning to head back inside, he opened his eyes and felt his breath get caught in his throat.

Standing near the door was a blonde, her silhouette casting out through the snowflakes. He took a step toward her, his eyes finally able to see her features.

The golden eyes were what caught his attention first, then her looks. She was breathtaking, there wasn't any doubt about that.

He tried to recall her name, but he couldn't place her. He had never seen her until now, he was sure of it. He would have noticed if he had ever laid eyes on a creature so gorgeous.

What was he doing though? He had just been thinking about kissing his wife. He shook his head, letting the thoughts slip away. He moved toward the door and nodded at the girl, but she put an arm out to stop him. "Valentine told me to come introduce myself to you. I'm Celine Carstairs." She smiled, her glossed lips were soft looking, and he couldn't help but look at them.

He snapped out of his daze and stuck out his hand. "I'm Stephen, Stephen Herondale." He spoke, his mouth forming the words carefully so he didn't stutter.

She took his hand and shook it softly. Her skin was smooth against his rough ones and he had to bite down on his cheek to make sure he didn't comment on it.

What was wrong with him? He was married and he had to force himself to not make a comment about another woman.

He was strangely attracted to her, which was distressing.

He could see Valentine heading their way and he sent a small thank you to the Angel in his mind.

"I see you found him Celine. Stephen, I have been waiting to introduce you to this young lady. She has been very excited to talk to you, but that will have to wait until after the toast. Come. "

Stephen extended his hand to let Celine walk in front of him as they followed Valentine back into the ballroom, where they were each handed a glass of champagne.

"I would like to thank everyone for joining us here today. This year will mark new beginnings and hopefully the start of a new era. I am proud to say that we have become a full circle, Stephen being our newest member." Stephen felt himself blush slightly, "So this toast is to our new family, we will always have one another. Cheers." He raised his glass and applaud broke out across the room. Stephen clapped lightly, before downing his entire glass of champagne, hoping to escape before Celine noticed.

He didn't get that chance though as she turned back on him, her eyes glowing. "Should we go back onto the balcony? It's a beautiful night, even if it is a bit chill outside." She gave him another genuine smile and he couldn't turn her down.

The two walked back in the direction they had come from, shutting the balcony doors behind them. It was close to 11:30 now; the night was going by so fast.

"So, where is your wife?" Celine asked, her soprano voice ringing through the air.

"At home, she wasn't invited. She just doesn't understand is the simplest way to put it."

The girls face was questioning, but she didn't say anything else.

They stood in quiet for a few minutes, neither knowing what to say.

Inside a countdown was beginning, like the mundanes did back in London. It brought a small smile to his lips that faded when he remembered he wouldn't be kissing anyone like he had back then.

He looked at Celine who had a sad look on her face; it made his stomach feel empty.

He couldn't help but feel that his face had probably been the mirror of hers only moments ago.

"Celine?"

"Yes, Stephen?"

Inside the countdown had reached four…three…two…

He stepped towards her and pulled her frail body to his own.

She was warm and so were her lips as his collided against them.

She tasted like cinnamon and champagne and he found himself getting lost in the kiss.

His tongue trailed her bottom lip and she parted them to let him inside. Minutes later the two pulled away, their breaths ragged.

They were staring at one another, he was sure he had a wild look in his eyes. He felt rebellious and though he should have been regretful of what he had just done, he felt nothing.

He felt like for the first time, something felt fun.

He wanted to do it again.

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><p>So what did you think? I'd love to know I should continue so <strong>review<strong> and let me know.

Teaser: _"We can't go on with this, you hate everything that I've chosen and though I'll always love you, I don't want to be with someone who hates who I've become."_


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